You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
