God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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