Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
