This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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