I'm really into asian looking animals
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't deserve a penis
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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