I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We had sex on a dog bed..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
