I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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