I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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