so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
