Jerry, you need to find god
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
