Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Will you blow on my dice?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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