we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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