the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
