either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
