Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
