dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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