i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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