Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
