i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have feelings that need drinking.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
