I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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