I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
