Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize