Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's blow job season.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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