I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
