why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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