i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
