i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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