I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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