What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
