if you like me you must not know who I am
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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