I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
