Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't put those talents on a resume
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
