If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
