I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
