Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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