It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
