Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
