laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Mom said you looked used
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
