brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize