when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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