I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
