ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
