new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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