just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
