i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
