I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize