His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
