Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just found puke in my bra..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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