She announced her abortion via fbk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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