So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
