dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
