so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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