her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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