this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
