do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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