I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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