come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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