so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
