ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
