If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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