How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
