margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
