Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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